Grow Up Slow

Last night I met up with a good friend of mine. Like most women, we had some high quality girl talk that allowed us to talk about our emotions and explore the personal world we are immersed in. During this in-depth conversation, we realized that while we rushed ourselves to act mature and strive for adulthood, adulthood really is not all it's cracked up to be.

Then it made me wonder just why growing up is so bittersweet. It is exciting to discover who you are as a person and where you fit into the world. However, it can be quite unsettling not knowing where your future may lead. So far early twenties can be overly stressful. For instance, I hate not knowing where I'll be a few years from now. People with the most detailed life plans are failing these days because jobs are found with 30% preparation and 70% luck. Bummer. So those of you who are in college feeling burnt out with the light at the end of the tunnel light-years away, I feel your pain.

Solution to the unknown and stress? I would say do not think too far ahead. Truly enjoy where you're at each day yet stay focused on the possible future. Enjoying the journey will make the outcome much more worthwhile than if you were completely miserable along the way. Keep an open mind to all opportunities. Be versatile. Stand out from the rest. And most importantly, surround yourself around people that will support, guide, and encourage you.

XoXo

A Cry for Help.

When you grow up in a small town, you get very accustomed to word, news, or gossip spreading like wild fire. Sometimes what you hear is silly. But recently I received news that completely broke my heart.

A young man at my high school decided to take his own life because he was being bullied by his peers. Teens need to understand that bullying is wrong. Wrong in every way possible. They may get pleasure out of teasing but it tears someone else apart and makes them feel helpless. To get a rouse out of hurting someone else is disgusting and pathetic.

It is up to us adults to be role models and advocates for the kids that are being bullied. Do NOT act as if it is not a major issue. It is. Far too many lives are being lossed and it's time to change that.

For those of you that are being bullied, PLEASE speak up. Confide in someone. Get help. Fight back. DO NOT GIVE UP.

Step 1: Admitting you have a problem.

Addicion. Family troubles. Relationship issues. Trouble at home. Negative body image. Low self-esteem.

Problems that people can face are endless. Many times, we chose to face our weaknesses or challenges alone. Without a doubt, this can be beneficial as long as problems are being faced and dealt with. But often, some may rather sweep things under the rug and put on a brave face. Yup, you guessed it, this is me. I would rather force a smile on my face then to let others know something is truely bothering me. Lately, thanks to a few close friends, I have begun to question my tactics I use when dealing with problems.

Lately, I have found that problems/issues are put to rest more quickly and effciently if they are faced head on. It makes it easier to continue one's growth as a person. A few tips to help with facing your own insecurities from my own findings and others:

1. Define or pinpoint what is bothering you.

2. Ask some BIG questions. (Why does this bother me? Who cause it? When did it begin? Who else does this effect? Who's my support group? How can it be fixed?)

3. Work towards your solution positively. (Talk it out calmly, work out to relieve some of the stressed it causes, write about it in a journal, etc.)

4. Get help if needed.- Never think you are alone. Confide in friends, family, or religion that can offer advice or comfort in a matter. If you feel like this is not an option, seek professional help. Therapists may be intimidating but studies show how useful they are and they really do help people everyday.

5. Be patient. - Some things take time to heal. Look for small progression along the way to keep you motivated and hopeful.

6. In the end, REFLECT. When the problem is finally in the past, look back on how much progress you have made! Remember what it felt like to struggle, that way if you ever face another big problem you know you have what it takes to fight back, and win.

I hope that if you have any current struggles that this post can relate to you and encourage you to be brave and work toward a solution.

I owe who I am to my parents, grandparents, and my best friends because they have such wonderful advice and give me the support the I need when times get rough. <3

Girls Will Be Girls

In one of my classes, we recently were assigned to read Rachel Simmons' novel, "Odd Girl Out." This novel is reseached based about the alternative aggression in girls. Unlike boys, girls cannot simply "fight it out'' because girls are suppose to be sweet and have no problems with each other. This lack of realization causes girls to hold in their feelings and let it manifest into bigger problems. Girls fight these problems with body language, the silent treatment, and gossip. They use those closest to them to gain power and release aggression.

How many of you have been affected by alternative aggression? The numbers are sky high. Girls are known for being manipulative becuase there is no other way to release aggression.

Simmons would ask girls, "Do you tell a friend if you are mad at her?" Students repeatedly said no due to not wanting to hurt her feelings. Girls are scolded for directly hurting feelings so they must find more sly and covert ways to do so.

This novel is a GREAT read. It opens your eyes about so many issues, that we as a society ignore. Alternative aggression has a long-term negative affect on many women, so I hope that schools learn to recognize these forms of bullying and put an end to them.

To learn more read, rent, listen on tape to ODD GIRL OUT :)

Done Settling

As women our parents teach us that we should be treated like princesses and deserve nothing but the best. But I have to tell you that, well, being treated good is not the only thing a woman needs. It's important of course but most need more than that. I'm one of them. I recently decided I'm done dating guys until the real thing comes along. Funny, smart, kind, honest. Well you get the picture.

Next secret: No one is perfect. Shocker right? Girls are found expecting so much from a guy and their expectations lead to fights and eventually a break-up. If you can't love a person's flaws then it will never work in the long run.

It's important to know what you want in someone and not to settle for less. If the guy has or lacks a quality that is not all that important to you then that's okay to let slide. But the core features that matter to you in a significant other, hang on to and don't stop til you find the person with them. This goes for guys as well, know what kind of girl you want.

Well best of luck to you all searching for love :)

XoXo
Chels

Couple Therapy at a Whole New Level

Reality shows are usually pretty obnoxious. They may be about an old out-dated rock star looking for love when really trying to make a comeback or maybe even based on people getting rehab for addictions. Whatever the plot, they are the guilty pleasure of millions of Americans and this fact is backed up with research and ratings.

Mtv started their reality smash, Laguna Beach, almost a whole decade ago. Laguna Beach created the spin off The Hills. These shows have went from pure reality to staged. Even though it has been said that the show is scripted, people cannot seem to turn the channel. I must admit I am guilty of this as well but cannot seem to figure out what is keeping me coming back week after week. Mystery will probably remain.

Vh1 created their Tough Love show three years ago. The show is about women who have troubled love lives due to individual habits that inhibit them from finding true love. These women work with match maker Steve, who gives challenges and therapy to help fix their habits and matches them with compatible men. The third season has a bit of a twist. It deals with COUPLES! It is genius. Tough Love Couples has very valuable lessons about love along with the drama that people can help but watch. This show has made it's way into my top 3 favorite shows right now. I just can't seem to get enough of it!!

For all of you who want to see what all the hype is about check out the Hills Tuesdays at 10 pm on MTV and for Tough Love Couples turn the channel to Vh1 Mondays at 9 pm.

XoXo,

Chels

Pennsylvania Backroads

There is something special about windy back roads that make a person feel good inside. I am not sure whether it is the beautiful scenery or the sense of freedom you feel driving on open road. I have come to appreciate this small thing in life since starting college two years ago. There were times where homesickness got the best of me and I decided to go home for just a weekend. I would instantly feel so much better once I crossed into the Pennsylvania border and the backroads began. In a quick instant, I was away from the hustle and bustle of the city life and back in my element to which I was familiar. All the worries in the world seem to disappear if just for a moment as you soak in the fresh air and gorgeous views of the mountains. Some people hate backroads because they are poorly paved or the slow drivers that sometimes occupy them but these blacktop pathways are therapeutic and have the sense of being home.

Until next time...

XoXo
Chels